


You Ruined My Life

by GummiStories



Series: Joel Lavellan [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: 10/10, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Dorian is best boyfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Joel needs a hug, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Sad, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 05:28:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GummiStories/pseuds/GummiStories
Summary: Why can't the past just stay in the past?





	You Ruined My Life

“Inquisitor” Joel’s attention was pulled from the mission report he was writing by the sound of Josephine’s voice

“A woman just arrived at Skyhold, she is claiming to be your mother” Josephine continued, Joel frowned in confusion 

“My mother? My mother is dead, she was killed along with my clan” Joel explained standing up from his desk 

“Well she’s refusing to leave until she sees you, shall I get some guards to escort her out?” She suggested 

“No, no it’s okay, I’ll handle this myself” Joel shrugged following Josephine down the stairs from his quarters and towards the great hall

“I’m not crazy, shemlen! He is my son!” Joel heard a woman yell 

“Ma'am I really believe you are confused, the inquisitor’s mother has not had any contact with him in a long time” Joel heard Cassandra reply as he opened the door leading into the great hall. Joel’s eyes widened at the sight of women standing near Cassandra, both of their gazes were set on him

“Mother?” Joel questioned, not trusting his own voice

“Da’len!” The woman exclaimed, before Joel could say another word, his mother was embracing him tightly

“W-What are you doing here?” Joel questioned when she pulled away, it had been 17 years since Joel had seen his mother, 17 years since she had left him... 

“I came to see you, Joey! Is a mother not allowed to see their child?” She questioned, a smile on her face. So much had changed since he had last seen her, her brown hair was going grey and the lines on her face were more prominent. 

“My name is Joel, but I doubt you would remember that” Joel muttered, the frown on his face changing from confusion to anger. 

“What do you mean? Of course, I remember you name, da’len, you’re my son!” She exclaimed, the sweetness in her voice was sickly. The statement caused something inside Joel to snap. 

“Your son? Your son?! 17 years ago you abandoned me and my brother at a slave market! Just so you could get some extra coin! 17 fucking years I was abused and tortured whilst doing the bidding of rich Tevinter assholes! Now you come crawling back to me when I have a position of power!?” Joel exclaimed loudly, everyone in the great hall was staring at him 

“Ma harel, da’len!” She replied back, crossing her arms over her chest

“Stop calling me that! Ma harel lasa! You took me away from the only family I had! Now our clan is dead and yet you still live! The only parent who loved and cared for me whilst also being the clan keeper is dead! Now that I’m finally happy you come back to try and leech off me!” Joel exclaimed, a choking feeling was beginning to rise in his throat 

“I did not leave you at a slave market! You and your brother got separated from me! I was devastated when I lost you both!” She attempted to argue back placing a hand on Joel’s shoulder which he immediately brushed off, taking a step away from her 

“Do-Don’t you dare fucking lie to me! I screamed for y-you to come back, but you just kept on f-fucking walking! I never kn-knew my fath-father because of you! You ruined my life! I HATE YOU!” Joel screamed, tears rushing down his cheeks as he glared hatefully at the woman standing before him. The great hall was silent as they stared on in shock due to the inquisitor’s outburst. The only sound Joel could hear was his own laboured breathing and the blood rushing in his ears, he took a deep breath and released his fists which had been balled tightly at his sides 

“You are to leave Skyhold and never return, dareth shiral, dirthara-ma” Joel stated lowly before turning to return to his quarters

“Joel please I-

“You heard the inquisitor, leave now or you will be escorted out” Cassandra exclaimed as Joel exited the main hall. The moment the door shut behind him, Joel ran up the stairs and into his quarters, tears blurring his vision. Joel quickly made his way over to his bed and sat down, placing his head in his hands 

“Stop c-crying dammit” He mumbled to himself, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes, attempting to stop the tears from falling. 

“Amatus?” Joel heard a familiar voice call from the stairwell leading down to the great hall

“Shit, not now” He mumbled quietly to himself, wiping his eyes in an attempt to hide the tears. Quickly Joel stood up and turned just as Dorian finished his ascent up into his quarters, a look of concern was present on his face 

“Dorian, what can I do for you?” Joel questioned, standing awkwardly against his desk 

“I erm… heard what happened in the great hall, well, I think everyone in Thedas may have heard it… I thought, as your lover, it was my duty to check on you” Dorian explained, slowly walking closer to the centre of the room, his eyes not leaving Joel

“Are you alright?” He questioned in a soft and gentle voice, he sounded as if he was talking to a child. 

“I’m fine Dorian, it was an overreaction” Joel brushed off his concern and turned to walk out onto the balcony 

“Now you and I both know that is not true, you were quite distraught down there, do you wish to talk about it?” Dorian questioned, following close behind Joel.

“What is there to talk about? I flipped out and now everyone most likely believes I’ve gone mad” Joel replied leaning against the archway of the door staring out into the mountains. Dorian sighed knowing the conversation wasn’t going anywhere productive, Joel was extremely stubborn when it came to his feelings and it was difficult to get him to open up

“You know I love you right?” Dorian questioned, placing a hand on Joel’s shoulder 

“I know” Joel replied blandly, his body was tense under Dorian’s hand and his voice sounded strained 

“I only want what is best for you and I know, from personal experience, that bottling things up is never a good thing, it can be soul destroying” Dorian continued, walking in front of Joel so he could look him straight in the eyes

“So please amatus, talk to me” Dorian begged, gently grabbing the elven man’s small hands in his own

“I-I…” Joel stuttered, Dorian could see the tears rapidly building in his bright green eyes

“She left me Dorian… l-left me and my br-brother and no-now she comes back to me because I ha-have power… she rui-ruined my life…” Joel whimpered, tears beginning to track down his cheeks once more

“All I wanted was a f-fucking normal life and she ruined everything! I just… I just want…” He cut himself off as sobs began to wrack his skinny frame. Dorian quickly leaned forwards and brought him into his arms, allowing him to sob into his chest. Together they stood, Joel sobbing loudly and clinging to Dorian whilst the Tevinter mage lightly rocked back and forth and stroked his back, in an attempt to soothe the inquisitor.

“Parents, can be the worst or best people you know” Dorian smirked, lightly kissing the top of Joel’s head. Joel hummed lightly in response as his sobbing began to cease, he began to go limp against Dorian 

“Tired?” Dorian questioned, looking down at the elf. Joel nodded without responding, he was becoming more and more of a dead weight by the second 

“Come then, I believe a nap is required for the both of us”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> If you have a request please send me a message  
> Follow my writing blog: https://gummi-stories.tumblr.com/  
> Follow my DA blog: https://time-to-save-thedas.tumblr.com/


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